


The Norse God of Sneezing

by SilverGreen



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Allergies, Fluff, Gen, Good!Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:31:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverGreen/pseuds/SilverGreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers soon get over the idea that Norse gods are invincible when they discover Loki's allergic to almost everything on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Norse God of Sneezing

It's a beautiful morning when Bruce comes in for breakfast and, to his surprise, finds Loki sitting at the kitchen table with a red, dripping nose, a handful of damp tissues and a miserable expression on his face.

"You got a cold?"

"No," Loki says stuffily. "It's-" He breaks off to sneeze tiredly into the tissues, sniffles and sneezes again.

"Bless you. Looks like a cold."

"Allergies." Loki blows his nose and sniffs.

"Oh, right. The hayfever. I'd forgotten about that."

Loki wrinkles his nose and then wipes it again.

"Have you taken any allergy pills?" Bruce asks practically.

"They don't work. Oh, not a- again!" He sneezes, takes a quivering breath and lets out another tired-sounding sneeze.

"Bless you. Been going a while, have you?"

"Hours."

"I feel for you. Try some different pills, medication makes all the difference."

 

\------------

They're just about airborne when Loki stifles a sneeze. Quiet as it is, it escapes no one's notice, especially when it's followed seconds later by another one and then a particularly painful-sounding third.

"Alright, what's brought this on?" Clint asks.

"I don't know." Loki rubs his nose, trying to calm the persistent tickle.

"Allergies?" asks Bruce.

"I don't know," Loki repeats. The tickle gets the better of him and he sneezes into his hands, a little louder this time.

"Bless you," says Steve.

"Thank you." Loki sniffles. "I need to blow my nose."

"Napkins in the locker opposite," Natasha says from the front.

Bruce finds the napkins and throws them across. Loki buried his nose in one, muffling another trio of tickly sneezes before blowing his nose.

"We're in a sealed metal can," says Steve. "It's got to be something inside that's getting to you."

Loki sniffs.

"Anyone brought any flowers with them?" Bruce looks around. "No? Anyone wearing perfume?"

"I am," says Natasha.

"Natasha's perfume. That's almost certainly what you're allergic to!" Bruce says triumphantly.

Loki's nose twitches. His eyes are watering and he sneezes again into the napkin before wiping them.

"Damn, you're really allergic, aren't you, big fella?" Tony says. "This is going to be a hell of a long flight."

 

\------------

The vault they find themselves crawling in has clearly lain untouched in decades. It's thick with dust and filth and cobwebs and Bruce really shouldn't be surprised when he hears a soft sneeze behind him.

"Was that you, Loki?"

He gets another sneeze in response, then a mumbled "yes".

"Just a tickle?"

"I hope so," Loki says, sniffing. "But I fear- I may be- al- allergic-" He sneezes again.

"Allergic to the dust in here," Bruce completes. "Do you want to sit this one out? We're really going to stir up the dust, you're going to feel a lot worse."

"Is that an option?"

"Yeah. We're really not out to make you sick. Bless you," he adds as Loki sneezes. "If you're going to finish up not able to breathe, it's better to get out."

"Thank you." Loki crawls away in the other direction. Bruce hears the sound of irritable sneezes echoing down the passageway as he goes.

 

\------------

"What the hell is that?" Clint asks, staring at the pathetic bundle of fur in Tony's arms.

"It's a kitten."

"And it's here because...?" asks Steve.

"Because I found it outside and it looked hungry."

The others stare.

"He'll keep the mice away," Tony says brightly.

"We don't have any mice."

Thor and Loki walk in at that moment.

"What is that?" Thor asks, staring.

"Oh, here we go again." Tony holds up his new pet. "It's a kitten."

"For what purpose?"

"A pet. You don't have pets in Asgard?"

Loki rubs his nose and sniffs quietly.

"He needs a name," Tony declares. "Who wants naming privileges?"

"Loki?" Bruce says, suddenly spotting the god wrinkling his nose. "You ok?"

"I have a tickle," Loki says, sniffling. "Excuse me."

He turns his head and sneezes softly into his hand.

"Bless you," Clint says. "Fluffy?"

"Fluffy?" Tony repeats incredulously, just as Loki sneezes again.

"You're allergic to cats, aren't you?" Bruce says. "Tony, get rid of that flea-ridden creature. Loki's allergic."

"But- no, he doesn't have fleas, I'm not-"

"Tony," Bruce repeats more sternly. "Either you get rid of it or the... other guy does." His voice softens. "Loki's allergic to it, Tony. You can't keep it. I know it's cute but Loki suffers more than enough with allergies."

Behind him, Loki wipes his nose and sniffs.

"Yeah, but- all right, fine. Sorry, Fluffy. If it wasn't for the Norse God of Sneezing over there, you could have become the official Avenger Cat."

He gives Loki a filthy look as he carries the cat outside but Loki is too preoccupied with a fit of sneezing to notice.


End file.
